Kisses from Heaven (Part 2)
It’s very easy to doubt (God, treatment, decisions, purpose) when overwhelmed by sadness and sickness. I read a beautiful devotional once about ‘short memories’. It spoke of King David and how he forgot about his unbelievable victory over Goliath, “when fear strikes we run back to worry and doubt – we can feel alone and isolated”. This is why I kept a diary of blessings big and small. When I felt down or had doubt, this diary reminded me that God had our back. He mainly used others, and the timeliness of all our blessings were incredible. When I look back on them I realise they were set in motion way before we needed and received them. ‘Kisses from Heaven’ blogs are only some of my diary excerpts.
3rd May, 2017
Our first time visiting Advance Church in Taupo, the message was about how God will do beautiful things in all circumstances. How broken jars water dry gardens. For Verns first time in a church like this, the message seemed to speak specifically to our situation. Vern gave his heart to the Lord this day.
22nd May, 2017
For many months my parents, brother and sister in law (Eli and Kyra), sister and brother in law (Jaana and Chris), and friends (Jo, Tans, Kris) would travel from all over to stay and support us by looking after our newborn. For most of the first year I could hardly hold Pepe and Vern’s energy was spent looking after me. We were so blessed to have everyone supporting us so we could focus on my health.
24th May 2017
Vern has a dream and he was sharing his testimony before he introduced me to share mine. We were on stage, and I was cancer free. When I talked to my uncle Steve, he told us that this was God speaking to Vern, giving him hope and that we needed to hold onto this vision.
Our home
Our house was purchased through an unexpected friendship with a very kind couple who helped us with a loan. We always thought it was a dream house, stunning, large and beautiful. Little did we know this house would become our sanctuary. A place of peace for me to heal; large enough to house all our visitors we would need; and with land to plant our own food.
Sugar
An afterthought, but during my pregnancy I developed a strong distaste for sugar. It was bizarre. I spent my life loving sugar and actually looked forward to being pregnant so I could ‘eat whatever I wanted’. But at about four months, I couldn’t do it. Lollies and anything sweet had the most disgusting taste. I asked my midwife about it and she thought it was strange. Even when I had Pepe the first thing I got the kids to bring me was lolly mixtures but they still tasted gross. What I didn’t know at the time was cancer eats glucose. I believe this was my body saying “don’t eat the sugar, don’t grow it anymore”.
Oncologist appointments / chemo
The first report I saw stated the need for immediate chemo (within two weeks) but my first oncology appointment was after this time so we went with our private health insurance to see another oncologist (I’ll call him Dr T). Dr T met with us within two days and assured me I had the best oncologist available. He also told us that he didn’t think a few weeks would make a difference as they could see the tumour hadn’t grown in the few weeks between scans. There was a peace in my heart after meeting with Dr T and so, it was in the following few weeks that I began looking for additional therapies.
Finances
Our finances were always looked after, mainly by the generosity and kindness of others. We had many people bless us, and at times when things got tight there were always timely gifts. We were gifted money, firewood, won meat raffles, had free car services, sold items for favourable amounts, received interest only on our mortgage... Our aunty and uncle even gifted us 5-star accommodation in Fiji, on the days my parents were already booked to come and stay.
7th June 2017
My appointment with Dr Matthew Phillips was booked for this day (6 months prior). The fact that it was booked after the private oncologist BUT also fell before my proper oncologist was so predestined. I was in a state of peace and was searching for additional therapies. Matt offered that.